I’m just coasting through life hoping someone will find a reason to care. I see all these pretty girls screaming out another chance, but i couldn’t do that to anyone. I couldn’t make anyone attached to me cause they will only end up broken a scarred, tortured forever. I’m afraid just to talk to people now, wondering how they will judge me and how just my appearance will change them. No one should have to see what I’m doing to myself and the possibility of them knowing the true reasons is simply non-existent. Ill be honest; I cut just to feel something other then emptiness and anger, I smoke to try and easy my thoughts, I’m afraid to sleep simply because my demons are in my dreams, and I just want to die. No matter how much I have, money love or possessions, I just want to die. I hate who I am. I hate all that I am and everything I’ve ever done. It would be easier if I just didn’t exist and if I didn’t, who the fuck would even notice.
I’m disgusted with myself